It's not hard it's easy, you just think it's hard.

Often it is not the issue we have difficulty with but how we perceive the issue. In working with clients I see the challenge but also take note of the overlying energy. If we first re frame the context in which we are working to one of excitement, growth and possibility it makes the process of change so much easier. And in that growth is never ending, the in the moment experience becomes the focus of life itself. And there the choice lies, to live in fear (it's hard) or in joy (it's easy).
In reality, it is easy. Just edit out the thoughts that reinforce the belief in difficulty. Create visual reminders, journal and hire a coach to mirror those thoughts back to you to create awareness. Verbalize to yourself and others that it is easy. Don't engage in conversations that lament on how hard life is. And above all resonate with joy, love and gratefulness of this experience called life.
See, I told you it was easy.

Under Construction

Under construction

Personal growth is much like constructing a new building. First you realize that you have out grown the original structure. You just don’t feel as comfortable as before. Maybe the space feels a bit to tight or confining. Maybe the structure doesn’t feel as safe as it once was. You might notice some cracks in the foundation and question the plan of the original contractor.
And it just doesn't feel like you anymore.
You start contemplating a move. You dream about how this new building will look and feel like. You become excited about creating a space just for you. You also wonder when you will have the time, money and motivation. You doubt your vision and berate yourself for even thinking about it.
“Nothing wrong with that old building”.
“If it was good enough for my parents it’s good enough for me”.
“I’m selfish for even considering creating my own space”
“People will resent me or hate my new house”.
So you stay in the house till it becomes unbearable. You redecorate and realize it really doesn’t hide the flaws. Eventually you start the construction on the new home. Discovering you have to first use the materials from the old house. Some work well, others need reshaping, some go into storage and some don’t work at all.
During construction you must still live in the old house and in doing so ,often doubt leaving it. It’s so familiar, it has faults but you know them well. But you keep at your vision and you see your dream home come to fruition. You start staying there, a few days at first, then longer. It starts to feel more like home although once and awhile you run back to the old house.
The Ego is the old house built by our families for us to live in. The new house is constructed by new thought, wisdom and love. It houses our true self.
Welcome home.

The Word

"Be impeccable with your word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love".
That quote is from the book The Four Agreements, the focus of this month at the Bodhi Spiritual Center. I have to admit I haven't read it but love and believe in the words above. What we say creates our reality. Words have energy, they can attract and repel. So not only be conscious of what you say but also the motivation/energy in which you speak them into the world.

Beauty in therapy

From an interview with PsyD Michael Hoyt

I think beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So for me beauty in therapy is a way to see or a way to be in the world. If I as a therapist succeed to co-create together with my client an open space, where our truths (what is truthful for us, what makes sense and works for us) unfold in a respectful atmosphere and we can recognize once again who we are, our suchness, then I often experience that there are also certain aesthetic dimensions in this particular moment. It often kind of takes my breath away, takes time away, takes myself away, all at once. This mutual space has often the characteristics of flow, unpredictability, wholeness, uncontrol, serenity, participation and a kind of elegance. Often both the therapist and the client will be touched and nourished by the beauty of the moment.
I have experienced those moments and I could not have described them better.

Back to Self

After a long hiatus, I am back. I was very focused on building my practice (within the confines of an existing group practice) and I accomplished that over the past year. Now I am rekindling my creative spirit through education, reinvention, stepping outside my comfort zone and writing. I guide others to unfold to their true nature, holding a space of truth and hope. I found it became easy to focus on others and lose sight of myself. So this is my journey back...

Grief

Religion in America

Driving to work today I heard a story on a recent survey on religion. Take a look at the U.S. Religious Landscape Survey
and draw your own conclusions about faith in the US.